Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
Another holiday down. One more to go!
I really really can’t wait for 2009 to end. It’s been one serious rollercoaster.
At least I’ve got my head in a good place. 
Well, I planned on coming home to visit the family for 3 days. Wed – Sat. Wouldn’t ya know it the blizzard that was supposed to hit Wed night and be done by Friday just kept going to Saturday so when we left for the airport the interstates were closed and I couldn’t get there. This is where I start hyperventilating. I could probably handle being stranded in Des Moines, but Mitchell South Dakota??? Uh no. I’m constantly on the go, rarely do I sit home and just veg out, so sitting in the house for 4 freaking days made me want to kill myself. I don’t know how people do it.
Finally Sunday the roads were ok enough to at least get around so me and some friends went out to have a little fun. And by a little fun I mean getting drunk and riding snowmobiles around haha. Yeah… in hindsight probably not such a great idea but hey, at least I’ll have those memories forever. Or climbing that snow mountain… Yeah, that was fun…
But if nothing else I can say I got to spend some much needed quality time with the parental units and siblings. But in all honesty, well, I really can’t get back to LA fast enough.
I did manage to accomplish a couple of things. For starters, I got a new tattoo. Yes, a plan devised as we took shots in the Letcher bar the night before and severely hung over at the actual time of inking. But got it done. Anyone who knows me even a little bit I think knows that I pretty much wear my heart on my sleeve. If I love you, you know. If I hate you, you know it. Sooooo I found it only fitting that I get a heart well, on my sleeve. It’s just a little heart on my wrist. What’s super rad about it though is it’s filled in with a spiral. This is really just to represent the emotional turmoil I’ve been through this last year. It’s been really rough and I’m proud to say that things are finally good.
I’m finally over my ex. Sure I still have those “aw” moments but I don’t long for him the way I did. I feel pretty fortunate that I’ve got a really great group of friends who were pretty great at being supportive through the process. The months where every other word out of my mouth was nate this or nate that.
It is funny the adjustments I find myself making, at first consciously but now naturally. For instance I’ve began saying something like, “an old friend of mine…” when referring to some story or anything relative to “him”. I think this was a crucial turning point for me. I think a huge prompt for that turning point was meeting someone I really liked though.
That stuff always happens when you least expect it. And I forgot that feeling when you first meet someone you really click with and you want to know everything about each other and spend time with each other. I found myself making time for him which I just don’t do for any guy. Ever. I wasn’t able to be so nonchalant about this one for some reason…
But it was short lived. I realized that I got all tied up in knots over this guy just exactly like with my ex and I decided that’s just not for me. If anything resembles anything about my previous relationship. I’m out. Done. Not going there. At first this guy was a total 180 from the ex but then I started seeing behaviors that rang a little too close to home so to speak… So in the interest of breaking old habits, I guess, I decided this is def not going to be a significant relationship for me. And just as fast and strong as it started. It ended.
The only unfortunate thing about that is well, I really needed to meet that person, to feel those butterflies again, and to just be excited about someone else, to really be able to get over it. This is unfortunate because I really wanted to do this on my own. Get over it on my own. But whatever. It worked out and I’m a ton happier now than I was mourning my old relationship. I’m just glad it only took a little over a year instead of the 2-3 years everyone thought it was going to take.
That’s what happens when you plan on spending your life with someone and it all falls apart I guess. There is no reason to rush the rest of your life. Especially when it comes to finding someone you might spend the REST of your life with. You know what they say, your significant other is the only family you get to pick, so you better make it good.